its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
