Cold hands, warm shart.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
