I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize