i need an iv and a liver transplant
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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