Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
