Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize