addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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