so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
