She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize