Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
pray to the hookup gods
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
