I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
