You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's like God shit irony all over that family
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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