tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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