You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
