Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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