My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
