My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
