she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
