one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
