You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
