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worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Edward fifth and chaser hands
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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