dude i'm inner monologue high
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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