I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How does one acquire holy water?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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