forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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