yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
