Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So much rum. So many feels.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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