I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
