So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
