the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
