I think i peed on brittanys purse
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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