I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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