He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
