sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize