Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
