Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize