Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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