am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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