Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
