i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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