Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
