The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
