I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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