Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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