I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
