It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
