what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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