Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
