dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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