is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
