Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
