it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
