we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
