last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
