Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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