I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
